Show & Share: We! Connect Future Focused Deck

Chad: Let me pause for any immediate questions, and then I want to do an exercise. I'm going to give you the digital version of the deck for free in a way you can interact with. Then we'll ask, how would you use this? How would you apply it? We'll gather a handful of fun examples — we'll call those popcorn, I'll add some butter, and this will be a pretty amazing movie.

Renee: Chad — when's your next deck coming out? [laughter] I've used your decks for many years, so when's the next one coming out?

Chad: I appreciate that question. Here's me about to be a really bad capitalist: (a) I don't know, and (b) I'm going to teach you how to turn the decks you already have into 15 other decks.

This was an accidental discovery with the first deck. Will and I wrote Ask Powerful Questions, so we're really tuned in to the structure of a question — not asking superlatives, not asking why. These questions are very sound, and the research process we went through to hone this set is nothing like the $5.99 party conversation-starter deck you can buy on Amazon. Give that to staff and they'll say, "Yeah, I don't want to answer these." The decks you get at Trainers Warehouse — right, Sue? — are vetted.

So, Renee: you can add context to the end of every question and it still makes sense. "What's something you appreciate about yourself… at work?" Add "at work" to all 60 questions and you now have a different deck.

Or if you're thinking, "I can't get my nine-year-old to tell me what he does after school. I ask how school was and he says 'fine'" — lay out three cards and add "at school" to the end of each. He'll be met with interesting, novel questions that don't sound like every other time you've asked how school was.

Renee: Thank you. That's awesome.

Chad: There I go — I think I just reduced annual revenue by about 12%. [laughter]

Sue: No — there's a lot you can get out of the tools that exist, and sometimes that's even better, until you have another spurt of energy around here's what's missing, here's another opportunity. Necessity is the mother of invention, right?

Chad: Yes. And believe me, Renee, I have a file full of future deck ideas and things in the pipeline. I just don't know the actual answer to your question.

Renee: You answered it. It's all good. It was perfect.

Chad: What other immediate questions do you have before I set you free and light your brains on fire — in a good way? I'll put a link in the chat.

Participant: Can you summarize one more time what we're doing? We're looking at a card, answering it, and then having a dialogue — is that correct?

Chad: Oh, sorry — I didn't actually follow up. Curse of knowledge. The example I gave was: grab a word you'd love to have more of in the future. That's the unofficial start as people walk into the room — immediate engagement. I'm designing for contribution, not making people stare at a PowerPoint agenda slide as they walk in. Then I give a little welcome — here's the purpose, glad you're here — and then, as connection before content, I say, "Split into groups of three, ideally with people you know least, and answer the question on the back of your card." That's one way to use them.

That said, I've spent the last 13 years of my career traveling to all sorts of conferences, associations, and events, breaking the format of the keynote and leading a giant science experiment on what happens when we ask questions we typically don't. I'll be in an arena with 6,000 people, everybody gets a card, and we do my favorite exercise. I'm giving you two examples, then you'll give me the rest.

My favorite is the Question Swap. Everybody gets one card. Stand up, pair up with somebody, and ask them the question on your card while you listen to their response. Then they ask you the question on theirs. That's really great, because you can't be thinking of your response — you don't even know what you'll be asked. All you can do is be present and listen. Mechanically, from a learning and training perspective, that's genius.

Have that conversation, swap cards, then toss your hand in the air to signal you're looking for someone new. What I love about this: with think-pair-share, whenever you block off "you have five minutes," somebody finishes early and has to sit in the awkwardness, and somebody else needs another half hour with the soulmate they just met. In a Question Swap, you can stay in a conversation as long or as briefly as you like. It's a beautiful self-facilitating process. I don't do it with fewer than 12 people, but above that — 6,000 is the record so far.

Piper: But you haven't told us yet what we're about to do.

Chad: I have not — Piper asks a beautiful question. Here's what you're going to do: scan this QR code. It's better on your phone if you can, but if you can't scan it, there's a link in the chat you can click. I'll send it through multiple times so you can't miss it.

Participant: One more question, Susan — will a version of this go on YouTube?

Chad: Brandon in the chat just named the episode: "That's freaking gold." [laughter]

Sue: Awesome. Be it.

Participant: Will we have access to the chat information after this call?

Sue: Yes. I typically post the recording and put together some notes. We have a page for all the Show & Shares, and you'll have resources there.

Participant: Thank you, Susan.

Exercise: Explore the Digital Deck

Chad: Hold on one second, Nora — let me give everybody directions so everyone can be doing something while we sort out last-minute questions.

You've scanned the code and have the app up. I'll put up a two-minute timer, because I think we underutilize silence and reflection in training. Scroll through the deck — this digital sample is about half of it — flip the questions over, and consider: How might you use this tool in your context? When we come back, I'll ask for examples — popcorn — and then I'll add some butter: pro tips, from using the deck with lots of groups, on how to take your idea to the next level.

If you want to think in silence, feel free to turn your volume down for two minutes. Nora, or anyone else with a question, I'm happy to answer it now.

[Two-minute reflection]

Popcorn: How Would You Use It?

Chad: Let's leverage a little virtual-facilitation magic. If you have an example you'd love to share, turn your video on. If not, turn your video off for a bit. Let's do a little fishbowl and let videos sift themselves in and out.

I see Piper, Renee, Wayne, Sarah, Dawn, and Kelly. The question we're answering: How would you use this deck in your context? Piper, are you going to start us off?

Piper: I am — thank you for asking. Outside of training, the first thing that came to mind was coaching. I'm an executive coach, and I also do personal-development coaching. There's a phase of the coaching process with a lot of self-discovery before you can move on, and many of these questions tie right into that phase.

Chad: One of the things that makes conversation much more impactful is handing over as much autonomy as possible to the group or person you're working with. As the coach, you could exert power and choose which question to ask — and it's a great library of coaching questions. Even more powerful, whether virtual or in person: have them choose three questions, maybe one from each color.

I don't think I've shared this yet: the cards are color-coded, spiraling down in specificity.

• Purple — Possibility: higher-level vision questions, a little more imaginative.
• Process: Okay, what are we going to do to make that happen?
• Practical: smaller steps, what may already be happening.

I once met a facilitator who had a very excited student come up afterward, sharing a dream of starting a global nonprofit. The facilitator looked at this kid with all the love in the world and said, "Love that. What are you going to do tomorrow?" [laughter] That's the practical tier.

So Piper, a really powerful move: "To open our coaching conversation, I went through this deck and felt genuinely curious about these three. Which one would you be game to dive into first?" It delivers a bit more choice and autonomy. And while I don't love the term buy-in, if you're trying to get it from a group, give them more choice and autonomy — they'll participate in an experience they picked rather than one you forced on them.

Participant: I like the idea of having a group prioritize, say, five questions.

Chad: Yes — and you can prioritize words, too. The back of the deck has a QR code to five-plus clever exercises, and one of them is this: put groups of three or four together, give each a stack of five to seven cards, and say, "Prioritize these words in order of importance — how we prioritize them on this team, in this job, at this organization."

They end up having an amazingly thoughtful discussion about whether appreciation matters at work, or whether it's more important than structure or innovation. It sparks lovely dialogue. Then all the groups come together to share their top two. That's a much more thoughtful, learning-based way to talk about values than "See the values poster on the wall nobody pays attention to? We're going to go over a 25-slide PowerPoint on how you should implement these values at work." [laughter]

Sue: Chad, it's also interesting that "What do we prioritize?" is a really different question from "What might we prioritize?" or "What should we be prioritizing?" And comparing those brings even more depth to the conversation.

Chad: Beautiful. A teacher of mine used to say, "A choice of words is often a choice of worlds." You made a tiny edit to the prompt, and it's a whole different exercise. That's true of the whole deck: put these in order of things you'd love to be true at work — now put them in order of what is true at work — and see what rearranges.

Check-In

Chad: Quick check-in. One of my mentors, Peter Block — I had lunch with him in Cincinnati, and in the middle of lunch he abruptly said, "Full stop. You drove a long way to have lunch. How are we doing?" [laughter] A lovely little formative assessment. So, those of you on video — and feel free to use the chat: Is this session useful? Getting a lot out of it? Worth the $0 you paid to be here?

Cool. Awesome.

Sue: Let me also acknowledge we're at our halfway point. We know some people may need to log off now. For those who can stay for more informal conversation, that'd be awesome, but we understand if you need to go. Chad, thank you — this has been great. We'd love to keep going for a bit if we can.

Chad: I feel totally good. In about 15 minutes I should elevate my leg above my heart, but for 15 minutes I'm with you. Let's do a lightning round: Renee, then Wayne, then Sarah.

Renee: Mine is twofold — two new ways, because I've been using your decks for years. First, I'm thinking about how to build it into my framework. It has nothing to do with Etch A Sketches, but I'm like, I can do this — I'm going to add it in.

Second, helping my youngest. She's 20, but she's my youngest. She just got a promotion — she works with children with autism and got a supervisor role at a new clinic. I know her team is struggling, and how dare Mom give her all the ideas. So I'm going to have her go through my decks — especially the Future Focused one — and suggest she ask her team these questions, because she's new at this and sick of hearing Mom talk. Tag, you're it. [laughter]

Chad: Gorgeous. Lovely. Thank you.

Wayne: Audio on. First — Piper, I'm also a piper. A professional bagpiper; I have two gigs next week. [laughter] And Chad, I'm also from Western Mass. And even though you have torn ligaments and broken bones, you still have a leg up on me. [Holds up prosthetic leg; laughter]

One of my main workshops is public speaking — answering unexpected questions, impromptu speaking. Every day we do exercises where people respond for 60 seconds up to two minutes, using a proper structure for an impactful response and proper speaking dynamics, facial expression, and so on. These would be a wonderful set of impromptu questions for small-group sharing.

Chad: Beautiful. And just the word side alone — I could, and have, led a four-hour workshop with only this deck, deeply tied to the content people were working on and the decisions they had to make, because it's so flexible. For impromptu speaking: choose a random word and share what you know to be true about it — you have 60 seconds, go. Being able to be on cue is kind of the definition of impromptu speaking. I shared that I broke my leg, and you held up your prosthetic leg — that's impromptu speaking sparked by a quick idea.

Then, to deepen those discussions: "Now flip the cards over, sit down, and have a conversation about the question on the other side." You get higher-energy, standing-up riffing on truths about a word, then sitting-down, more thoughtful, deeper connection — and you can oscillate.

I think any good gathering has energy that looks like a healthy heartbeat. If you've ever been in the hospital and seen a flat line on the heart-rate monitor — that's bad. [laughter] That's a code. Same with a meeting: if everybody's sitting facing the front while one presenter goes on and on, that meeting is at high risk of dying, along with everybody's attention. Oscillating up and down is really great.

Chad: Sarah, I realize I called on you for an example while you're helping us. You're welcome to share, or we can bounce to Corey.

Sarah: I was going to say something similar to Renee — and to what you touched on — asking something deeper than "How was your day?" with family members. And, like Renee, when my kids are in a sticky situation at work — they're young and new to the workforce — helping them through those situations. That's probably how I'd use them outside of work.

Chad: Beautiful.

Closing Remarks

Chad: Sue, how about this — I'd love to share a two-minute video that you're in, because I think you'd love to see it too.

Sue: I want to see that. But first, a quick call-out: I see Kai — or maybe Larry — on the call. Larry is Kai's husband; both were very close friends of mine at Kellogg. I introduced you, Chad, because Larry recently came out with a book on great questions — The Art of the Ask: Getting More of What You Really Want. [Holds up book] …Cover your face and it'll show up clear? No, that didn't work. Anyway, Chad, I know some of your answers and perspective were featured in Larry's book, and I was so happy to have made that connection.

And before the video, I want to thank you again for being here and helping us think through how we use questions to enrich our relationships, our conversations, ourselves, and our futures — to build trust and energy. It's about asking, listening, thinking, and being thoughtful. Thank you.

Chad: You're very welcome. It's a treat to be here.

If I can share something personal I've been focused on lately: at these Show & Shares, I'm holding up a deck you can buy at Trainers Warehouse. But I'm trying to step completely out of the business of marketing and selling and fully into the business of invitation. Let me riff for 30 seconds on that, because I think it's extremely relevant to training, leading, and facilitating.

There are lots of types of invitation. You can text a friend, "Hey, want to hang out?" You can send a wedding invite with gold-foil lettering, a wax seal, and a pre-stamped RSVP card. Or you can knock on someone's door and say, "I mailed wedding invitations to 149 people, but I wanted to show up, give you a hug, and say, please come to my wedding." Three totally different, but beautiful, types of invitation.

One thing I'm learning: any good invitation has to let you RSVP no. As Peter Block once told me, "If you can't say no, then your yes has no meaning."

So, on behalf of Sue, Trainers Warehouse, myself, and the magic and power I think is held inside this deck: I'd love to invite you to go to Trainers Warehouse and pick up decks for you, your staff, your team. We barely scratched the surface of the depth and impact that comes out of this one little box. For me, my facilitator toolbox has shrunk down to mostly this deck. That's invitation one.

The second: we're past the official end and into the unofficial Q&A, and most of you stayed — only about three people needed to head out. If you're still here: all good things must come to an end, but I'd love to invite you to consider joining me at the Connector Summit I host once a year. Sue, this is where you're in the video. It's all virtual, for access — no traveling, no packing bags, not even attaching your prosthetic leg, Wayne. [laughter] You were being playful, Wayne, so I hope it's okay for me to be playful too.

I'm not going to pitch anything. I'm just going to play a two-minute video. We hired a documentarian to capture last year's summit, even though it was virtual, and this is a little slice of it. Sue's in it, so you know it's going to be awesome.

Sue: [laughing] Thanks.

Chad: A big core tenet of my work is designing for contribution and participation, not passive consumption. A video is designed for consumption — unless I say this: there are some golden quotes in this video that might make your time on this call worth it. Open the chat, or grab a sticky note, and get ready to write down one golden idea to keep with you after this call. Two minutes, then maybe another question or two, and we'll end on a high note. Here we go.

Connector Summit Video (excerpts)

"I don't care what you care about. The most productive way to express that care is to build trust with people around you and decide what we want to do together."

"You all create the small groups and the large groups that are the units of transformation. And I want that group to be equipped with the very best, latest, smartest, most useful tools."

"I hope that in the next few days you feel not only uplifted and encouraged, but accepted."

"Something's going to happen in the next couple of days — some conversation, some moment, some aha — that was the exact right thing to happen at the exact right moment."

"We're not taught these learnable skills of how to hold a group."

"We need to understand that expertise without empathy is just noise."

"I'm just loving being part of this community that values and celebrates curiosity and listening, facilitation and growth and trust."

"Never before have I gotten so many nuggets of wisdom in such a short period of time. My brain is full. My heart is full. It restores my faith in humanity."

"Today we gather inside an old, ongoing human story. Thank you for arriving and for adding something of yourself to it."

"The worst-case scenario is you end up in an interesting conversation with good people."

Wrap-Up

Chad: Okay, off mute. Didn't they do a pretty good job with that?

Sue: Awesome. It's a really interesting and wonderful community — for building relationships and for thinking about your facilitation and training. It was a great couple of days.

Chad: Beautiful. If any of you are interested: last year Priya Parker, who wrote The Art of Gathering, kicked off the summit. This year it's the facilitation legends who created Liberating Structures, a very foundational facilitation framework. It's free to request an invite and register your interest — there's a link if you'd like to come hang out with me, potentially Sue, and a bunch of other really cool people.

Sue: Love that. I have an ask, too. Since I've been on leave, I don't have many Show & Shares in the queue for October and November. If anyone still on would like to co-host with me, or has a topic they'd like us to explore — even if it's just an informal conversation — please share it with me. Email me or put it in the chat. Big invite there.

We're going to stay on, but Chad, thank you. I appreciate it. I wish you a really easy recovery and an easy follow-up surgery. It's great to be on the other side of surgery — I can tell you from deep in my heart. [laughter]

Chad: From deep in my heart — pun intended. Beautiful. Thank you. We'll call this the official end. My mom always taught me to end the party while it's still fun. If you've got lingering questions, just unmute and ask, and we'll go rapid-fire for a few…

[Transcript ends]